There is no sugar coating
chemotherapy treatment. It is bloody horrendous. It's the worst kind
of hangover x100. I always walk into the first day of treatment fresh
faced and then leave 5 hrs later a horribly sickly grey colour. I
don't feel myself, I don't feel human. My brain is mush, my muscles
ache, the fatigue is incredibly frustrating, my mouth is coated with
a gag inducing metallic taste, I don't want to eat, I have no
concentration or want to do anything, i'm easily frustrated and
confused, sleep is impossible. I am a chemo zombie.
I've just finished my 4th
cycle, I thought the more treatment I have, the easier it'll be and
the better i'll cope. Unfortunately, this is not the case. I'm now
fully aware of what awaits me come chemo day and the anxiety and
nerves kick in once i'm in the car on route to the hospital. You
shouldn't wish your life away, and I certainly shouldn't be doing
that, but, I want these next two cycles, these next two months to be
over with. Life can then return to normal and I can continue being a
crazy 20 something year old, that doesn't have to miss her best
friends birthday because of chemo sickness!!!
The first week after chemo is the
yuckiest and it's a constant battle to stay sane. So to try and avoid
turning into that chemo zombie these are my do's and don'ts for this
week.
Do sleep - sleep when you can,
have a quiet space that you can take yourself away to. Rest is a big
must.
Don't push yourself – I'm not a
very good 'sick' person. I treat my cancer as though its the common cold and don't see it as this scary illness. So I think I can do more than I actually can.
Resting frustrates me and I feel guilty for doing so, but in order to
get better it is a necessity.
Do eat. Eat little amounts and eat
whatever you fancy. I put pressure on myself to stick to a healthy
diet and its pretty impossible. Taste buds are gone and the thought
of food is gross. So grab anything that takes your fancy.
Do drink water. Drink tons of the
stuff, the only way to get those toxins and dead cancer cells out of
your body is to guzzle that H20.
Do get outside. I've found staying
indoors only makes me feel worse. The fresh air and change of scenery
does wonders.
Don't stress. Don't put any add
stresses or pressures onto yourself. And if you do feel overwhelmed
and stressed then listen to music, meditate, read, walk and laugh!
Laugh about your unfortunate shitty situation :)
Do know that this is only
temporary, know that you'll come out of this stronger, fitter and
tougher. Know that this is the hardest thing you'll ever face, and
face and beat it you will.